Emilie Chary - France

[Emilie Chary]

The first thing that comes to my mind when I started reading this
chapter was : why in the world don’t we just give this first page to
parents to read?

And then, as I read on, I found it terribly boring. Like most people, I
don’t like boring stuff and I started scanning the chapter rather than
reading it. I don’t usually do scan stuff when I supposed to read it. I
usually follow instructions. That’s what made me a good student in
school. I read pretty fast. But I’m telling myself: what difference will
it make if I just scan the chapter? BOOM! That’s the all point. I’m right
on it again. You see, I have been struggling with this little voice telling
me all day long: “You don’t want to do this. That’s alright. It won’t
matter anyway”. This voice is the devil in person, is terrible poison.
Because it WILL matter. So I shifted my positive talk to: “Every choice,
no matter how insignificant it may seem, WILL matter.”

It feels like this chapter is my life. If I don’t want to read it, maybe
that’s because it’s too hard to face the truth. I think this chapter
might bring up more about myself than I expected. I went on reading
some of the lessons already posted on the forum.

“Developing  from within”:  the reason for personal development. That’s
one of the things I uncovered since I first followed the mental cleanse
a few months ago. Personal development is not about fixing me. I’m not
broken. It’s about getting to know myself better.

I have been filling my head with knowledge my whole life. Look where
it got me: yes I have a job. I like it. It’s in my comfort zone, it’s
 rewarding. I’m good at it. You know, my parents used to tell me:
“Have good grades in school and you’ll have a good job”. Yes, that’s
where it got me.
Filling my head with knowledge has required some sacrifices. Looking
back, I’m not sure it was worth it. I have a young colleague who tells
to whoever is listening that after his thesis, he might go cook
Hamburger at Mc Donald’s. Sounds crazy, right? A waste of knowledge?
He says he worked there  over the summer and found it amusing. And
you know what? I can relate to that. Of course, I would never admit it
to my parents. Actually, I did once. My Mom thought it was crazy and
talked me out of it. However, I resisted in starting a thesis for the good
of the world. I wanted to settle down my ideas and figure out whether
I, yes, I personally, wanted to do one or not.  Because I have a good
job: so why in the world would I want another degree to add to my
College degree collection? Make more money? Well, you see, network
marketing will bring me more money than I could ever receive for having
a PhD. To my opinion, if I jump into a thesis, that will only be for the
pleasure of learning and putting that knowledge to use. But did you know
that 90% of the thesis go in a library where they are never opened again…
The hardest thing right now is to resist to people who would like to see me
pursue one.

I think this chapter really put into perspective the difference between
a College professor and Richard Branson, for example. There is nothing
wrong in being one or the other as long as you have chosen to be
there. Most people don’t choose their occupation: they choose the
idea they have of it. Of course, this idea is wrong most of the time.

What I am becoming aware of about myself is that it’s easy to “lug” me
around if people make me imagine they will love me more if I do what
they expect from me. After all, that’s what my family did. My parents
made sure I knew that if I didn’t do this or that, they wouldn’t love me
less, but that if I did, they would love me… more. Where did
unconditional love go? Freeing my actions from my parents’ opinion… The
first time I did was when I joined my first network marketing company.
And you know what? My parents still love me…

After all, I did get more from this chapter than I thought.